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The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything constantly. When we eat out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when strangers see her posing or filming – I get vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She creates vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her styling career. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. On occasion I'm captured while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her Instagram later, and it pops up like a surprise: I might be bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

She also expects me to film her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has turned into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She could easily hire someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I invest helping her make content.

I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my design career, but I resist our friendship to become just a ledger of favours. I don't believe she’s fake or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with another. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, altered, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online allows me to show my personality and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your passions. I admire people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY content creation.

Creating content is my interpretation of living actively: noticing the details, sharing them with an audience that values the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uneasy. Taking her to professional gatherings was my method of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see the benefits the work we make together can achieve: an opening. I know not all people enjoys being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Being recorded occasionally is part and parcel of being my companion. I would delete anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my private videographer, but friends support one another in minor capacities. My assumption was recording a clip here or there would be fun for Beth. Innovation thrives in collaboration, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I’d never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship profoundly and want to avoid content creation to come between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like requesting permission before filming, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about control, it’s about sharing my world while still respecting hers. Obviously making content is not a replacement for real connection: it’s just part of how I experience life and I want her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and her friend when they are out together?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion film you. I get that it's her job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to create content with. Given the dark, looming future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys creating, that doesn’t mean all those around her is content. She must to respect her friend's privacy.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love making content and showing off her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It’s nice she has assisted Beth’s career, but she must to hear what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the priority in your friendship. Foster some authentic experiences, where genuine feelings are preserved, not online archives. In fact, celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears unsure as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to change one another, but in each setting defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their bond?